Wednesday, December 30, 2009

CHILDREN AND GRIEF

I truly did not know how my boys would take the news of their Great-Grandpa's death. While they have experienced the death of both of their Great Grandma's, they were too young or to far removed from the situation to have much if any impact.
To say that my children were very close to Grandpa would be an overstatement, he spent alot of time hollering at them to pipe down, they rivaled his TV in volume! However Grandpa was a permanent fixture in their lives for 4.5 years, a constant, familiar. And a really good place to go and watch The Military Channel, Walker Texas Ranger, and beg chocolate.
Casey had a few silent tears, was very subdued the rest of the day, and sobbed for a half hour that night, I'm not sure if it was for his loss, or for Popcorn the dog, who parked herself on Casey's lap and looked very lonely.
Dane's tears were immediate , seeking and recieving consoling from me and I needing that to.
Cole.....if I had told him grass was green it would have been the same, that's just how he rolls.
It seems to me that children do not have the benefit of perspective that time brings, that grief is a very confusing and raw emotion for them, and like in all things, how they come out on the other side is strongly influenced by the adults around them.
Pearls Of Wisdom by Heather Allen. You're  Welcome.

Fast forward a week. Casey has had a ton of very earnest questions about death, burial, salvation and grief. It has lead to tremendous dialogue, often hard to get out of a pre teen boy! Both of the Tweedles have been a huge comfort to me, showering me with frequent hugs and luvins out of the blue.
The displays of Christmas Bendaroos I have found around the house this week make me smile, and know that My Boys, are good with this.



Jeesie+Robert (my granparents)
The cross representing Jesus




A note of love and consolation from my youngest.




Grandpa in Heaven ( wearing a halo). On the fridge.

Content in His Love

Heather

1 comment: